Pete Being Turned Into a Frog O Brother Where Art Thou

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Pomade Vendor: I tin can get the function from Bristol. It'll take two weeks, here'south your pomade.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Ii weeks? That don't exercise me no good.

Pomade Vendor: Nearest Ford machine human's Bristol.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Hold on, I don't desire this pomade. I want Dapper Dan.

Pomade Vendor: I don't carry Dapper Dan, I carry Fop.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, I don't want Fop, goddamn it! I'm a Dapper Dan human!

Pomade Vendor: Watch your language, young feller, this is a public market. Now if you lot want Dapper Dan, I tin society it for you, have it in a couple of weeks.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't this place a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere!

Pete: Look a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well Pete, I figured it should be the ane with the capacity for abstract idea. Just if that ain't the consensus view, then hell, let's put information technology to a vote.

Pete: Suits me. I'thou voting for yours truly.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well I'1000 voting for yours truly too.

[Everett and Pete look at Delmar for the deciding vote]

Delmar O'Donnell: Okay... I'thou with you fellas.

Tommy Johnson: I had to be up at that there crossroads concluding midnight, to sell my soul to the devil.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't it a pocket-sized world, spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I gauge I'm the just one that remains unaffiliated.

[after the *Iv* soggy bottom boys finish recording "I Am a Human being of Constant Sorrow"]

Ulysses Everett McGill: Woo! Hot Damn, son I believe you lot did sell your soul to the devil.

Lund: Woooooooo-wee. Male child, that was a miiiighty fine a-pickin' and a-singin'. I'll tell y'all what, you come up on in hither and sign these papers here and I'thou a gonna you ten dollars a piece.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Uh, okay sir. But Murt and Aloysius will accept to sign Xes as only four of us can write.

[first lines]

Ulysses Everett McGill: Say, any of yous boys smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you lot otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts earlier straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin'?

Blind Seer: You seek a great fortune, you three who are at present in chains. You will find a fortune, though it volition not be the one you seek. Simply first... first you must travel a long and difficult route, a road fraught with peril. Mm-hmm. You shall encounter thangs, wonderful to tell. You lot shall see a... a cow... on the roof of a cotton house, ha. And, oh, so many startlements. I cannot tell you lot how long this route shall exist, but fear not the obstacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your advantage. Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, notwithstanding shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation.

Pappy O'Daniel: And furthermore, by manner of endorsing my candidacy, the Soggy Bottom Boys are gonna lead us all in a rousing chorus of "You Are My Sunshine."

[Applause. Pappy turns away from the mike, towards Everett]

Pappy O'Daniel: [no-nonsense] Ain't you, boys?

Ulysses Everett McGill: Governor, information technology's one of our favorites.

Pappy O'Daniel: Son... you're gonna go far.

Pete: Well I'll be a sonofabitch. Delmar's been saved.

Delmar O'Donnell: Well that's it, boys. I've been redeemed. The preacher's done warshed away all my sins and transgressions. It's the straight and narrow from here on out, and heaven everlasting'southward my reward.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Delmar, what are you talking about? We've got bigger fish to fry.

Delmar O'Donnell: The preacher says all my sins is warshed abroad, including that Piggly Wiggly I knocked over in Yazoo.

Ulysses Everett McGill: I idea you said you was innocent of those charges?

Delmar O'Donnell: Well I was lyin'. And the preacher says that that sin's been warshed abroad too. Neither God nor man's got nothin' on me now. C'mon in boys, the h2o is fine.

Delmar O'Donnell: Treat some gopher?

Ulysses Everett McGill: No give thanks you, Delmar. A tertiary of a gopher would only arouse my appetite without beddin' 'er back down.

Delmar O'Donnell: Oh, y'all can take the whole thing. Me and Pete already had one apiece. We ran beyond a whole... gopher village.

Pete: I've e'er wondered, what's the devil look like?

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, there are all mode of lesser imps and demons, Pete, but the great Satan hisself is scarlet and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork.

Tommy Johnson: Oh, no. No, sir. He's white, as white as yous folks, with empty optics and a big hollow voice. He likes to travel around with a mean quondam hound. That's right.

Pete: The Preacher said it absolved united states.

Ulysses Everett McGill: For him, non for the law. I'm surprised at you, Pete, I gave you credit for more than brains than Delmar.

Delmar O'Donnell: But they was witnesses that seen us redeemed.

Ulysses Everett McGill: That'southward non the issue Delmar. Even if that did put you square with the Lord, the Country of Mississippi's a piffling more difficult-nosed.

[laughs]

Ulysses Everett McGill: Baptism! You lot two are just dumber than a purse of hammers!

Ulysses Everett McGill: You lot can't display a toad in a fine eating house like this! Why, the good folks here would go right off the feed!

Delmar O'Donnell: I just don't recollect it'south correct keeping him under wraps similar we's ashamed of him.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, if it is Pete, I am ashamed of him! Fashion I run into it, he got what he deserved, fornicating with some whore of Babylon. These things don't happen for no reason, Delmar. It's evidently some kinda judgment on his character.

Delmar O'Donnell: Well, the two of us was fixin' to fornicate!

Pappy O'Daniel: Sounded to me like he was harboring a mean grudge against the Soggy Bottom Boys on account of their rough and rowdy by. Looks like Homer Stokes is the kind of beau who wants to bandage the first rock.

[boos]

Pappy O'Daniel: Well, I'm with you folks. I'1000 a forgive-and-forgettin' Christian, and I say, if their rambunctiousness, and misdemeanoring, is behind them...

[turns away from the mike, towards Everett]

Pappy O'Daniel: [no-nonsense] Information technology is, ain't it, boys?

Ulysses Everett McGill: Uh, yep sir, information technology is.

Ulysses Everett McGill: The treasure is nevertheless in that location boys, believe me.

Delmar O'Donnell: Simply how'd he know about the treasure?

Ulysses Everett McGill: I don't know Delmar. The blind are reputed to possess sensitivities compensating for their lack of sight, even to the point of developing paranormal psychic powers. Now, clearly seeing into the future would fall into neatly into that category; its not then surprising and so that an organism deprived of its earthly vision...

Pete: He said we wouldn't go get it. He said nosotros wouldn't go the treasure we seek on business relationship of our ob-stac-les.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well what the hell does he know, he'south just an ignorant old man?

Lund: At present, what can I do you for Mr. French?

French: How can I lay a hold of them Soggy Bottom Boys?

Lund: Soggy Lesser? I don't precisely recollect them.

French: They cut a record in here a few days ago, was an old-timey harmony thing with a guitar accom... accomp...

Lund: Oh hither, here, here, I remember them! They was colored fellas, I believe.

French: Uh huh.

Lund: Yessuh, they're a fine bunch a boys. They sang in the yonder can and skeedadled.

French: Well that record is goin' through the goddamned roof. They playin' it every bit far away as Mobile.

Lund: Naw?

French: Whole damn country'southward goin' apey.

Lund: Well it was a powerful air.

French: Hot damn, we gotta notice them boys and sign 'em to a large fatty contract. Hells Bells, Mr. Lund, if nosotros don't the goddamned competition will.

Lund: Ohhhh mercy! Yes nosotros got to beat that competition.

George Nelson: [after Nelson has robbed the bank] Thanks folks! And call back, Jesus saves, only George Nelson withdraws!

[laughs]

George Nelson: Get fetch the auto voiture, Pete.

Woman In Bank: [whispering] Is that "Babyface" Nelson?

George Nelson: Who said that?

[pause]

George Nelson: What ignorant, depression down, slanderizin, son of a bitch said that?

[goes upwards to woman]

George Nelson: My name is George Nelson, become me?

Delmar O'Donnell: She didn't mean nothin by it, George.

George Nelson: [noticeably upset] George Nelson! Not "Babyface"! You lot remember, and you tell your friends! I'm George Nelson! Born to raise hell!

[Nelson points his Tommy Gun towards the ceiling and fires it, and the bank patrons leap]

[singing]

Ulysses Everett McGill: I am a man of abiding sorrow, I've seen trouble all my days. I bid farewell to old Kentucky, the place where I was built-in and raised.

Delmar O'Donnell,Pete: The place where he was born and raised.

Ulysses Everett McGill: For six long years I've been in trouble, no pleasure hither on Earth I've found. For in this world I'one thousand spring to ramble, I have no friends to help me out.

Delmar O'Donnell,Pete: He has no friends to assistance him out.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Peradventure your friends recollect I'chiliad just a stranger, my face you never will run into no more than. Merely there is one hope that is given, I'll meet yous on God'southward golden shore.

Delmar O'Donnell,Pete: He'll see you on God's golden shore.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Me an' the one-time lady are gonna pick upwardly the pieces and retie the knot, mixaphorically speaking.

Delmar O'Donnell: I'm gonna visit those foreclosing son-of-a-guns at the Indianola Savings & Loan, slap that coin on the barrelhead and buy back the family unit farm. Y'all ain't no kind of human if you lot ain't got land.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete's cousin turned us in for the bounty.

Pete: The hell you say! Wash is kin!

Washington Hogwallop: Sorry, Pete, I know nosotros're kin, just they got this low on. I got to do for me and mine.

Pete: I'm gonna impale you, Judas Iscariot Hogwallop!

Pete: Well hell, information technology ain't foursquare 1! Own't nobody gonna pick upwards three filthy, unshaved hitch-hikers, and one of them a know-it-all that can't keep his trap close.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, the personal rancor reflected in that remark I don't intend to dignify with comment. But I would like to address your full general attitude of hopeless negativism. Consider the lilies of the goddamn field or... hell! Take at expect at Delmar hither as your image of promise.

Delmar O'Donnell: Yeah, expect at me.

[Discussing how to counter Homer Stokes' campaign for governor]

Junior O'Daniel: We could hire our own midget, even shorter than his.

Pappy O'Daniel: Wouldn't we look similar a bunch of Johnny-come-latelies, bragging on our own midget, doesn't matter how stumpy.

Pappy O'Daniel: Shake a leg Junior! Thank God your mammy died givin' birth. If she'd have seen you, she'd accept died o' shame.

Homer Stokes: [as One thousand Kleagle at a KKK rally] Brothers! Oh, brothers! We have all gathered hither, to preserve our hallowed civilization and heritage! We aim to pull evil upwards by the root, before it chokes out the bloom of our culture and heritage! And our women, let's not forget those ladies, yous. Looking to us for protection! From darkies, from Jews, from papists, and from all those smart-ass folks say nosotros come up descended from monkeys!

Ulysses Everett McGill: Deceitful, 2-faced she-woman. Never trust a female Delmar, remember that 1 simple precept and your time with me will non take been ill spent.

Delmar O'Donnell: Ok, Everett.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Hit by a train! Truth means cypher to a adult female, Delmar. Triumph of the subjective. Y'all ever been with a adult female?

Delmar O'Donnell: Well, I... I... I gotta get the family unit farm back before I tin start thinking about that.

Ulysses Everett McGill: That's right, if so. Believe me Delmar, woman is the virtually fiendish instrument of torture e'er devised to bedevil the days of man.

Penny Wharvey McGill: Vernon here's got a job. Vernon's got prospects. He'south bona fide. What are you lot?

Pete: Practise not seek the treasure!

Big Dan Teague: You don't say much my friend, just when yous exercise information technology'south to the point, and I salute you for information technology.

Pappy O'Daniel: I'll press your flesh, you dimwitted sumbitch! You lot don't tell your pappy how to courtroom the electorate. We own't one-at-a-timin' here. We're MASS communicating!

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, equally presently as we get ourselves cleaned up and we get a little smellum in our pilus, why, nosotros're gonna feel 100% better about ourselves and about life in general.

Pete: Crazy! No one's ever gonna believe we're a real band.

Ulysses Everett McGill: No, information technology'southward gonna work. I only gotta get close enough to talk to her. Takin' off with us has got more future than marryin' a guy named Waldrip. I'g Goddamned bona fide!

Delmar O'Donnell: Everett, my beard itches.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Why are you telling our gals that I was striking by a train?

Penny Wharvey McGill: Lots of respectable people have been hit by trains. Judge Hobbie over in Cookville was hit by a train. What was I gonna tell them, that yous got sent to the penal farm and I divorced you from shame?

Ulysses Everett McGill: Uh, I take your bespeak. But it does put me in a damn bad-mannered position, vis-a-vis my progeny.

Siren,Siren,Siren: [singing] Go to sleep you lot little baby / Go to sleep you footling infant / You and me and the devil makes three / Don't need no other lovin' infant // Become to sleep you little babe / Go to sleep you piddling baby / Come up and lay your bones on the alabaster stones / And be my ever lovin' baby // Go to slumber you lilliputian baby / Go to sleep y'all little baby / Your momma's gone away and your daddy's gone to stay / Didn't exit nobody but the infant // Go to sleep you little baby / Go to sleep you piddling baby / Everybody's gone in the cotton and the corn / Didn't leave nobody simply the baby // Y'all're a sweet little baby / You're a sweet picayune infant / Dearest in the rock and the sugar don't stop / Gonna bring a bottle to the baby // Don't y'all weep pretty infant / Don't you weep pretty babe / She'southward long gone with the ruddy shoes on / Gonna come across another lovin' baby // Go to sleep you little baby / Go to slumber you petty infant / Y'all and me and the devil makes iii / Don't need no other lovin' baby // Go to sleep yous petty baby / Become to sleep you lot footling baby / You and me and the devil makes three / Don't need no other lovin' baby // Go to slumber yous picayune baby / Go to sleep you petty babe / Your momma's gone abroad and your daddy's gone to stay / Didn't leave nobody but the baby // Go to sleep you piffling baby / Go to sleep you piddling infant / Come up and lay your basic on the alabaster stones / And be my ever lovin' baby

Delmar O'Donnell: Them syreens did this to Pete. They loved him up and turned him into a horny toad.

Homer Stokes: These boys is not white! These boys is not white! Hell, they ain't even former timey!

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, I estimate difficult times flush the chump. Everybody'south lookin' for answers... Where the hell's he goin'?

[as Delmar runs out to be baptized]

Pete: Well, I'll be a son of a bitch. Delmar'due south been saved!

Man with Bullhorn: All right, boys! Information technology's the authorities! Nosotros got you surrounded! Merely come on out and grabbin' air! And don't try nada fancy! Your sityeachin is purty nigh hopeless!

[as a noose is flung over Pete]

Sheriff Cooley: Stairway to heaven. We shall all come across past and by.

Ulysses Everett McGill: Then you're confronting me now too? Is that how information technology is boys? The whole globe, God almighty, and now y'all.

Delmar O'Donnell: Jacking upward banks. I can run across how a fella'd derive a whole lot of pleasure and satisfaction out of it.

Big Dan Teague: Cheers for the conversational hiatus. I generally refrain from speech durin' gustation. I detect it course and vulgar. Where were we?

Delmar O'Donnell: Makin' money in the service of the Lord.

Big Dan Teague: Heh, you lot don't say much, friend, simply when you practice, it'due south to the signal and I salute you for it!

Ulysses Everett McGill: I am the only daddy you got! I'm the damn paterfamilias!

Wharvey Gal: But you ain't bona fide!

Big Dan Teague: Give thanks you boys for throwin' in that fricassee. I'm a man of large ambition, and even with tiffin under my belt, I was feelin' a mite peckish.

Ulysses Everett McGill: It's our pleasure, Big Dan.

Pappy O'Daniel: Moral fibre? I invented moral fibre! Pappy O'Daniel was displaying rectitude and high-mindedness when that egghead you piece of work for was notwithstanding messing his drawers!

Pappy O'Daniel: Furthermore, in the 2nd Pappy O'Daniel administration, these boys is gonna be my *brain* trust.

Delmar O'Donnell: What's that mean, Everett?

Homer Stokes: And I say to you lot that the bully land a Mississippi cannot afford 4 more than years a Pappy O'Daniel - four more years a cronyism, nepotism, racialism and service to the Innarests! The choice, she'due south a articulate 'un: Pappy O'Daniel, slave a the Innarests; Homer Stokes, servant a the petty homo! Ain't that right, piffling fella?

The Little Man: He ain't lyin'!

Ulysses Everett McGill: Yessir, the South is gonna change. Everything's gonna be put on electricity and run on a paying basis. Out with old spiritual mumbo-jumbo, the superstition and the backward ways. We're gonna see a brave new world where they run everyone a wire and claw united states of america all upward to the grid. Yessir, a veritable age of reason - like they had in France. And not a moment too soon...

Soggy Lesser Customer: Exercise you accept the Soggy Lesser Boys performing "Human being of Constant Sorrow"?

Record Store Clerk: No ma'am. We got a new shipment in yesterday. Sorry, but we only can't keep 'em on our shelves.

Pete: Since we been followin' your lead, nosotros ain't got nothing but trouble.

Pete: My pa always said "Never trust a Hogwallop!"

Ulysses Everett McGill: The old tactician has got a plan. For the transportation that is, I don't know how I'm gonna keep my coiffure in lodge.

Pete: How'south this a plan? How we gonna get a car?

Ulysses Everett McGill: Sell that. I effigy it can only have painful association for Launder.

Pete: [reading] "To Washington Bartholomew Hogwallop, from his loving Cora. Amor Fidel... is."

Ulysses Everett McGill: It was in his bureau. I figure information technology'll fetch us plenty cash for a practiced used motorcar-voiture, and a little left over besides.

Delmar O'Donnell: Hey mister! I don't mean to be tellin' tales out of school, just there'south a feller in there that'll pay you x dollars if you sing into his tin can.

Big Dan Teague: Bible sales. At present the trade is not a complicated one. In that location are simply two things to learn. One bein' where to observe a wholesaler - the Word of God in bulk as it were. Two, how to recognize your customer. Who are yous dealin' with? It'south an exercise in psychology, so to speak.

Homer Stokes: This band of miscreants, this very evening, interfered with a lynch mob in the functioning of its duty.

[Last Lines]

Blind Seer: [sings] Oh, conduct me away on your snow white wings to my celestial home

Woolworths Client: Who is that man?

Penny Wharvey McGill: He's not my husband... Simply a drifter, I guess... Only some no-business relationship drifter.

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